Archive for the ‘Weird’ Category

Sunset after midnight

Thursday, June 21st, 2007
Tímabelti Íslands

Happy summer solstice, readers near and far (excluding the southern hemisphere). It is today at 18:06 UTC; that’s when the North Pole points closest to the sun.

Here in Reykjavík, sunset tonight is at 00:03. Yeah, three minutes after midnight.

Our time zone designation needs revising at some point.

The Mac totally flies, man. Slowly.

Monday, April 2nd, 2007
Me: Do you have the MacBook mid-size in stock?
Apple store: No, sorry.
Me: When do you expect it?
Apple store: Well, it was dispatched a week ago.
Me: Okay, so it’s sitting in a ship somewhere?
Apple store: (half-insulted) No no, not a ship. They come by airplane.
[a moment's pause]
Me: That’s one slow airplane.
Apple store: Well, it is coming all the way from China.

It better run faster than it flies.

The Unpaid Designer

Wednesday, January 17th, 2007

It’s winter quarter 2000. I’m the TA for EE183, sitting alone in a lab in the brand-spanking new Packard building of EE at Stanford, preparing assignments for tomorrow’s lab session. It’s around midnight and the building is empty-ish.

Enter a somewhat unkempt man in his early forties, medium build, in overalls with a little paint on them. He wanders around the lab for a bit, contemplating the oscilloscopes.

The essence of our conversation is paraphrased here to the best of my ability, G representing me and D the Designer.

G: “Hi, uh, can I help you?”

D: “Yeah, I’m just taking a look around. I designed this building, you know.”

G: “Really?”

D: “Yeah, I did, my company did. I designed the Mac interface, too.” [gestures at my PC display]

G: “Wow. So you’re here to see how your creations turned out?” [still not sure whether he's joking]

D: “Yeah, well, I’m also having trouble with the department, they still haven’t paid for the design work.”

G: “Really? One would think they’d have that kind of thing in order.”

D: “Apple, too. They haven’t paid me for the Mac design work. These people owe me a lot of money, it’s pretty lousy, and I’ve had to take action about it.”

G: “Action?”

D: “Yeah, I’ve just sent this fax out, to the EE department, and to Apple, and several other places in the valley.”

He shows me a hand-written sheet, memorably ending with the words “Pay or be punished!”

I measure him out, as inconspicuously as I can. He has me a little worried, but he’s not that much bigger than me, and hasn’t seemed aggressive.

G: “Wow. You’re not mincing words there!”

D: “Heh, no. Can’t go too easy on these guys, or you just get them walking all over you.”

G: “I’ll bet. Well, best of luck with that. I hope they come around.”

D: “Hey thanks. It’s good talking to you.”

G: “See ya.”

He leaves the lab. Later that night, when leaving, I walk around and see D in the lunch area on the second floor, eating out of the common fridge. I nod to him, shrug and leave.

In the morning I mention this to Ed, the labs manager, and in about ten minutes a policeman arrives. I describe D as best I can, and then it hits me that he told me his name.

Policeman: “Oh, that guy, okay. He pops up around campus every few years, I think he was a student here once. He’s never gotten violent, but he hasn’t said anything threatening like this before either. I’ll have a little chat with him.”

That day, I notice copies of D’s handwritten fax posted on doors and flyer boards around campus. Never heard of him again.

I wonder if he ever got paid.

Nabokov’s chips

Monday, July 31st, 2006
Papas Lolita

I have just returned from a country where, apparently, potato chips can be marketed under the name Papas Lolita.

ASCII Maps

Monday, May 8th, 2006

This makes me happy:

http://www.asciimaps.com/

Til hamingju …

Monday, March 13th, 2006
Glitnir

„Til hamingju Glitnir,
með að fæðast í gær …“
♪ ♬

Insider tip úr Landsbankanum: við erum alveg að fara að kasta 120 ára gömlu nafninu, frá og með morgundeginum munum við heita „Lýsing“ og sérhæfa okkur í fjármögnun bíla og vinnuvéla. Allir að drífa sig að shorta LAIS! :-)

(Eins gott að það les þetta enginn, annars myndi regluvörður flengja mig bláan fyrir svona gáleysistal.)

Jakobssynir

Sunday, February 19th, 2006
Proclaimers

But I would walk five hundred miles
And I would walk five hundred more
Just to be the man who walked a thousand miles
To fall down at your door

Hér úti á götu heyrði ég rétt í þessu einhverja glaðværa unga menn syngja lagið „500 Miles“ og skyndilega fullmótaðist hugsun í höfðinu á mér sem hefur verið þar myndlaus og þokukennd frá því á táningsárum mínum þegar ég horfði á Gettu betur:

Ármann og Sverrir Jakobssynir minna mig á The Proclaimers, sér í lagi á þetta lag.

Og öfugt.

Það er ekki útlitið. Ekki eru það fræðistörfin eða tónsköpunin. Ég veit ekkert hvað það er og ég meina ekkert illt með því. En það hefur verið þannig hálfa ævi mína, og ég sé ekki fram á að það breytist.

Ofbeldi og asnakjálkar

Wednesday, January 18th, 2006
Asnakjálki

Asnakjálki með meiru

15Og hann fann nýjan asnakjálka, rétti út höndina og tók hann og laust með honum þúsund manns. 16Þá sagði Samson:

“Með asnakjálka hefi ég gjörsamlega flegið þá,
með asnakjálka hefi ég banað þúsund manns!”

17Og er hann hafði mælt þetta, varpaði hann kjálkanum úr hendi sér, og var þessi staður upp frá því nefndur Ramat Lekí.

Dómarabókin, 15:15-17

Þannig var nú það.

Idaho invents a new kind of political leverage

Friday, November 25th, 2005
Napoleon Dynamite

Napoleon Dynamite, the “super-nerd.”

I direct your attention to HOUSE CONCURRENT RESOLUTION NO. 29 of the Idaho state legislature, whose purpose is “to recognize and commend Jared and Jerusha Hess for their cinematic talents by which they have increased the nation’s awareness of Idaho.” The resolution states, among other things, that:

any members of the House of Representatives or the Senate of the Legislature of the State of Idaho who choose to vote “Nay” on this concurrent resolution are “FREAKIN’ IDIOTS!” and run the risk of having the “Worst Day of Their Lives!”

and further resolves:

that we, the members of the House of Representatives and the Senate of the State of Idaho, advocate always following your heart, and thus we eagerly await the next cinematic undertaking of Idaho’s Hess family.

This resolution passed. Of course. Congressmen do not want to be recognized by state or municipal authorities as “freakin’ idiots.” That’s obvious.

Hi. I’m Gulli. I work in marketing.

Thursday, December 23rd, 2004
Munch's "The Scream"

Yes, I work in marketing now.

I’ve been a techie since before I can remember.

  • I wrote a program for drawing on the TV screen with a joystick, on the Sinclair ZX Spectrum when I was 10.
  • For the past four-and-a-half years (and for three of the four summers before that) I’ve been working full-time as a programmer (or software engineer, when I want to sound fancy, although engines are rarely involved).
  • I have an MS in electrical engineering.
  • I read dozens of software development blogs.
  • I write software for fun in my spare time.
  • I run a webserver for myself and several friends.
  • On my home computer I use Gentoo linux, not Windows.
  • I read Dilbert, chuckling in a particularly gleeful oh-how-deliciously-superior-I-am way whenever marketing stereotypes are featured.
  • I’m sitting at home blogging at 6pm on Dec 23, when I should be in a panic-stricken shopping spree in a mall somewhere.

But I took a job at the web department of a bank in the beginning of this year. And today this web department was merged into the marketing department.

To my loyal readers: happy holidays, both of you. If you need me, I’ll be over here in the Identity Crisis Counselling corner, working on this.